navigating a word or two

hi! bonjour! buenos dias!

thanks for visiting now a word or two.

kick off your shoes, grab a drink and get comfy. we’re pretty nice and easy-going around these parts.

if you’ve clicked on the home page, this is a sticky post and you are seeing this to help you navigate the website. i’m all for uncluttered spaces, but this theme hides things a little TOO well!

here’s a little cheat sheet for what the icons mean:


pages. this will take you to the about page, mission statement and contact page

pages 2


stuff. you will see top viewed posts, archives, comments and how to follow the blog via wordpress or email.

stuff 2

social media

social. connect with me via twitter, tumblr and pinterest!

social 2

listed on the right (or the bottom if viewed on mobile) is the cole’s notes version of the mission statement and a list of blog categories.


  • blog spot –  if it’s related to the administration of blog or blogging in general, it belongs here
  • challonj! - if it’s part of a blog challenge, it belongs here
  • cross-examination - if it’s a rebuttal to a specific blog post or inspired by a specific tweet/conversation, it belongs here
  • finger snaps - if it’s a poem of some sort, it belongs here
  • gotta have faith - if it’s about my journey with God, it belongs here
  • inquiring minds - if it involves answering questions, it belongs here.
  • love, sex and in between - if has to do with dating, love, sex, relationships – it belongs here
  • mmm pop! - if it’s pop culture, entertainment or current events, it belongs here
  • play, laugh, grow - if it’s about parenting and motherhood, it belongs here
  • soul and spirit - if it motivates and inspires, it belongs here
  • sounds of silence - if it’s musically inclined, it belongs here
  • sports talk - if it’s about football (or other sports i guess), it belongs here.
  • the matrix - if it’s random, it belongs here
  • fiction/non fiction – if it’s a story of some type, it belongs here
  • rated spicy – if it’s sexually explicit and not safe for work, it belongs here

so there you go! your official guide to the site. don’t forget to leave your word or two!


faith and now what

When you are going through a rough situation, people of faith want to say just pray on it. Give it to God. Or ask if you’ve even done/considered it.

Prayer is powerful. I’ve seen it work many times. I will never discount someone turning to scripture for their script in how to support another. It has its place.

But is prayer supposed to be the only treasure on the mantle?

I have $10 to my name and the bills are piling up. I prayed – now what? The bills still need to be paid until God provides a way for them to be held at bay or He provides the means. Cell phone companies don’t accept prayer as payment.

You’re father ends up with a major illness. Prayer is the first thing that comes to mind. But medicine is a close second.

You’ve been job hunting for 8 months. No interviews are coming your way. You pray each day diligently for an opportunity to use your hands and your talents. But other than becoming self-employed (which still requires money) – that’s out of your hands.

This post is not meant to be written in a disrespectful way. I will turn to prayer with tears in my eyes or in a quick moment of gratitude. While thousands of feet in the air or in a car traveling 100kms/hr. When planes fall out of the sky or 300 girls are kidnapped and sold. I’ll ask for prayer from others when I’m having problems being able to pray for myself (and funny you can always pray for others but neglect yourself).

Last winter, my girlfriends rallied around me and from every corner of the continent prayed over me while I ugly cried over the phone. Did it change the situation? No. But I felt 100% better than I did before it.


I guess here’s where the person in need of tangibles rears her ugly head.

Then what.

MURICA. lollllll

You still have to figure out what’s for dinner. You still need to get to work. Or push through and send those resumes. And put yourself out there to be chose. Where does laying it at the feet of God end and call to action start?

They say that faith without works is dead. There is a book called Acts. There are many calls to action in the Bible. One cannot simply rely on faith alone – there must be some works.


The Black community struggles with this balance. From HIV to depression to getting the big piece of chicken and everything in between – “everything” is fixable with just prayer. What happens when you are so stuck that you CANT pray? Does that mean you just continue to drown instead of asking for someone to hand you a life-jacket? That you shouldn’t seek therapy or medical help? And then once aboard the boat or back on land with steady feet, you can say with relief and gratitude – thank you Lord for your blessings. You have to have air in your lungs to speak. That’s just science.

Peter was asked to step out on faith to walk on water. He had the faith that he could trust Jesus, but he also needed to eventually get out of the boat.

I once heard a sermon in which it was suggested that you shouldn’t pray for the same things over and over. That God heard you and knows what’s in your heart. The request may be accepted for denied. By doing so, you aren’t really giving it over to God to provide for you.

That stood out to me for many reasons, and I struggle for it. I pray for any and everything because I need to and I should. Some things (and people) are repeats. And shouldn’t they be?

How you find balance in your life, is up to you and your relationship with God. It’s no better so someone to impose their doubt, than for you to bully with your faith. For some, faith comes easier, and words are their love language. For others actions speak louder than words.

In the end, maybe prayer should be like a sandwich, start and finish with it – but fill the middle with action and words. With love and support.

And faith.


what’s your word? do you think people rely too heavily on prayer to ‘fix’ their problems? is there such a thing? what’s the balance/relationship between faith and action?




“Lately I’ve been thinking about who I want to love, and how I want to love, and why I want to love the way I want to love, and what I need to learn to love that way, and who I need to become to become the kind of love I want to be…

and when I break it all down, when I whittle it into a single breath, it essentially comes out like this:

Before I die, I want to be somebody’s favorite hiding place, the place they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer, and be absolutely certain I will keep it safe. I will keep it safe.”

— Andrea Gibson

writing 101-19: fire/memo

Today is a free writing day. Write at least four-hundred words, and once you start typing, don’t stop. No self-editing, no trash-talking, and no second guessing: just go.

memo: him and her

re: dismissal

to him

im sad to say that i don’t think i like you anymore. the person that you actually are. the person you have revealed yourself to be. you are the opposite of the person i thought i knew. then again, how well did i know you really?

i don’t do well with those that don’t learn lessons from their mistakes. who aren’t able to own up to the errors of their ways and change them. who play the victim and/or martyr. it is tiresome and i lack the grace to give it any country.

the cliché of being able to have ones cake and eat it too – is kind of stupid. because well.. what else are you supposed to do with cake BUT eat it? but the premise of being able to have everything you want, when you want it, how you want it without giving anything in return and lacking reciprocity is arrogant and astounding.


as for you – the word friendship is one i don’t take for granted. people who know me in real life, know what a struggle it can be. and why i value those i call friends.

we haven’t known each other long. and we don’t know each other well.

and frankly at this point, i don’t know if i really want to anymore.

you see, there’s supposed to be code among women. and you broke it to satisfy and satiate your own wants and needs.

i don’t know what’s worse.. being surprised or not being surprised.


you both consider me to be tougher and stronger than i am. that my feelings as quick as they came, should and could be dismissed just as easily.

it shows that your definition of friendship is very different from mine. he seeks the status quo in our interactions. she pretends like nothing ever happened. she had misplaced hurt and confusion. he had illogical anger and resentment. both of your feelings were all an illusion to create and cause misdirection.

the fire in me that died down and was eventually put to rest – was briefly resurrected. oil of past misdeeds and a careless match thrown burned my tongue which i will keep to myself.

but my fingers were thankfully saved and so with them i write.

consider this your two-week notice.